Saturday, November 26, 2005

Winter Warblings or What's in a Name

>Winter’s hit Trichy. Atleast, as close to winter as it’ll ever be in this dustbowl of a town. This basically means the temperature hovers around 20 deg. Celsius. Perfect, weather-wise. That is, perfect for sleeping in on cool mornings, warmly tucked up. Definitely not perfect if your semester exams happen to start from the next week. It’s high time I switch to exam mode. And so, naturally, here I am.

Winter’s also a time when old records are broken and legends are created. Arch-rivals accost each other in the corridors with a belligerent “When was your last?” Finally, on the fateful day when all else have succumbed to temptation, the champion walks his ceremonial walk down the corridor. And as he makes his lonely way down the seemingly endless corridor, towel slung across his shoulder and bucket in hand, people come out of their rooms to watch; for it is not every day that you get to see history in the making. Cameras click away for all of posterity to see. And they ask each other in awed whispers, “When was his last?”

>I set out to clean my room today. It turned out to be a journey of real self-discovery for me. Muscles that I didn’t even know existed protested their now painful existence. I gave up after a strange-looking lizard decided to join me in my self-exploration. Now I know more about myself than I ever wanted to. Later, I got a couple of first-years to do it for me. And I had a good laugh when my friendly neighbourhood lizard abandoned me for them. Ah, the little joys of being a senior…..

>I don’t like this funda of parents naming their children. I mean, we should get to choose our own names. Hell, we are the ones who have to live with them for the rest of our lives, and if we’re lucky(?), after we’re dead too. I have no issues with my first name, but it would’ve been so much cooler if my last name was Xavier. I could call myself Varun X then. I have even booked train tickets in that name.

>Similarly, houses. When I build a house, I’m going to call it something almost untenably cool, like the Eyrie, or Eagle’s Lair, or something like that (though both more or less mean the same). How I wish my parents had listened to me. But no, it had to be Srivatsa.

>In the folly of my misguided youth, I thought that cool user IDs would attract girls and that when I was done chatting with them, you’d have to peel them off me to let me breathe. Ergo (no wonder the Architect used it so many times, I feel all superior after using it), I acquired IDs like white_fang01in (my Yahoo ID, which I still have to use) and evil_incorporated2001 (my MSN ID, which I no longer use). Now I’m stuck with them.

Of course, now I blog. And I call myself the Monk.

Still, White Fang. Jeez.

>Again, I don’t understand why people give such inane names to their dogs; like Tommy, Jimmy or Pinky. Unless, of course, you're naming them after somebody, like a sibling or your boss or someone like that. Now, if I had a dog, I’d call it Xtreme Prejudice. XP for short. I mean, the possiblities are endless. For example, when I meet a male acquaintance (M.A.) while walking my dog:
M.A.: Hi! Walking your dog?
Me (coldly): What does it look like?
M.A. (smiling deprecatingly): Oh, sorry. Of course. Nice dog, though. What’s his name?
Me: I call him XP.
M.A.: XP? Why, does he crash just as often?
Me (in a soft, yet menacing tone that’d send chills down his spine; if only he’d had one): No. XP, as in Xtreme Prejudice.
And right on cue, my dog would utter a deep, menacing growl and bare its teeth.
M.A.: Uh, I suddenly need to pee…Bye!!

On the other hand, when I meet a cute female acquaintance (C.F.A):
C.F.A.: Hi! Walking your dog?
Me: You have such a gift for stating the obvious.
C.F.A. (focusing on 'gift'): Oh, stop it. Such a cute doggie, though. What’s his name?
Me: I call him XP.
C.F.A.: XP? Why, does he crash just as often?
Me (wiping my tears after laughing uproariously): God, but you’re funny, too. No, XP as in Xtremely Pleasant doggie.
And right on cue, the dog would sit up to beg and then extend a paw to shake.
C.F.A. (shaking the paw): Oh, how sweet!! You have trained him so well.
Me (in an undertone): Yes, yes, all credit to me. You know, you’re an XP too (not in an undertone).
C.F.A.: Huh?
Me: Oh, you know, Xtremely Pretty.
And then, right on cue, unable to withstand the coolness (?) of it all any longer, she’d swoon right into my arms. We’d live happily ever after.

Me and the dog, that is.

>Think about it. In the Eyrie lives Varun X aka White Fang with his dog Xtreme Prejudice.

Wow.

P.S. This post in an anachronism. For the benefit of those unfortunate ones who haven't yet acquired a prodigious vocabulary, such as mine, this basically means that the origin of this post is anomalously located on the temporal axis. If you still happen to be blinking, I recommend Word Power Made Easy by Norman Lewis. It is an excellent book. However, the following double couplet (for want of a better word) is perfectly synchronistic.

Today, I saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,

He was brave, and fought through circumstances dire.

But this is not right, I must not be a liar,

In truth, I saw Emma Watson and burned with desire.

71 Comments:

At 11:28 AM, Blogger vibha said...

Funny :p)

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger cherubic_chipmunk said...

hey bloke kindly forgive me for de paucity of words in my effort 2 describe ur blog(aftrall,i'm 1 of those unfortunate ones not equippd wid a prodigious vocab as u)-all i can say is,THAT WAS FANTASTIC...and i can empathize wid u man-Emma Watson was breathtakin in de movie...

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger A Hairy Snail said...

I remember the last time I cleaned my room back in hostel. The faithful worker of a junior got introduced to my faithful lizards who took care of the insect problems in my room. They were called Ned and Gerry (the christianing was carried out under suspicious circumstances).

Oh, and Emma Watson - she's going to give Angelina Jolie quite a complex soon. ;D

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Nenlos said...

This is wat ur address will look like if u stay on in south india- Eagle's Lair, Meenakshiamman road, Gumudipundi, Dharmapuri
(xcuse the geographical blunders)

 
At 8:26 PM, Blogger Camphor said...

“When was your last?” lol
I have even booked train tickets in that name. LOL
Bechare your juniors. *shudder* You seriously made them clean up your room?

the Monk "saw Emma Watson and burned with desire." ???
Neat couplet.

unable to withstand the coolness (?) of it
Let me help: coo-ness. cho-chweetness. :D

 
At 4:36 AM, Blogger hope and love said...

my (almost)15yr old son came back just now after viewing harry porter..
u should have seen his grin when i showed him the line 'saw Emma Watson and burned with desire."
:))
i should have taken a photograph of that grin...

 
At 4:58 AM, Anonymous tara said...

Oh, your post leaves me wanting to leave a really long comment. So many things to comment on:

My room was famous for being the only lizard-free zone on campus. That's because in the 2 years of MBA, I didn't once open the windows and the door was always shut (irrespective of whether i was in or out). Felt like confinement but helped me get through 2 years without having to face the dreadful louts passing of as lizards in Ahmedabad.

'Getting your juniors to clean your room'?!?!

I was one of the unlucky ones who actually cleaned up a senior's room as part of the ragging. And freaked him out completely by not stopping even when he asked me to (got lost in the task and felt I had to do it to the best of my ability...sic).

Uncool names / surnames? Just need to find some way to make it seem interesting / enigmatic. For instance, if like me, you have a name that's very 'sweet' but not really 'cool', then find a story to tell abt it. Like 'Tara' means 'the origin of creativity and passion'. I had to search long and hard to find that one. And hide other meanings like Tara also means Goddess of fertility.

Anyways, great post. Like the fact that you can write abt anything at all with such ease. All the best for your exams.

 
At 5:03 AM, Blogger Mrudula said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog. Good luck for your exams.

 
At 7:01 AM, Blogger Prerona said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:04 AM, Blogger Prerona said...

Prerona said...
hello! i came over from rimi's blog. its easy to edit the template to add links. heres what you do:

go to blogger, edit template.

first, copy paste the whole template somewhere safe so that if you screw it up you can go back to the old one :)

in the html search for "Edit-Me" ... replace it with the url you want to add.

suppose you want to add a link to http://xyz.blogspot.com and call the link abc

then type '<'a' href ='"http://xyz.blogspot.com"'>'abc'<'/a'>'

without the 's :)

then click on the save changes button below and then on the republish blog button

enjoy!

if you get confused, give me a shout.

all the best for ur exams!

ps - maybe u should try all this after the exams. go study now like a good boy :)

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger Loonie said...

same pinchhhhhhhhhhhhh!me too love shaolin monks!:-D
Lord peter wimsey..?ME don't know too!!:D..itz juss a statement made often!:D

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger Anjali said...

Hmmm ... I HAVE always been intrigued by the origins of 'the Monk'. Where did that come from?

Xtreme Prejudice is definitely cool. Why did I never consider that for my dogs, now?

Tara: goddess of fertility? Really? And why would you want to hide something as thrilling as that?

 
At 1:58 AM, Blogger aria said...

Ohh I love winters - Dilli ki sardi - perrrfect time to get cozy :D
Agree- most ppl are so unimaginative when it comes to naming their dogs. My Dog has an extremely unique name n hes famous for his looks n the name tht suits him in every way!
LOL @ Jimmy .. tht was my boyfriend's name - (just couldn't resist frm spelling tht one out!)
Norman Lewis is a gr8 book for improving vocab- I recommend it too.
I aint a harry potter fan - so gonna skip tht one.
Fun Read!

 
At 2:10 AM, Blogger the Monk said...

@Tara: seriously, that shouldn't hidden...i do the know etymology of my name...apparently, i'm named after the God of Water...
@camphor: of course, i made them clean my room...the number of rooms i have cleaned when i was in first yr...and i don't rag them, i just make them work...there's a difference, u know...
@angel-doc: thank u...this is why i blog...makes me feel warm all over...
@prerona: thanks for the help...also, thank you for exposing my complete ignorance of html... ;)...but no matter, i'll get my next door neighbour to do it...he's an html wizard...
@anjali: I have detailed the circumstances that led to the origin of my adopting the pen-name in my first post...check it out sometime..
and people, my exams are over...that's why i said this post is an anachronism...but thanks for the good wishes, anyway..

 
At 5:04 AM, Blogger Nenlos said...

wrt names of dogs, i've noticed that about a thousand dogs in every city are called Simba. My friend's brother said that if he ever HAD to name his dog the "nomal" way, it would be Mufasa. Xtreme Prejudice and the like are ofcourse the most preferable.

 
At 6:15 AM, Anonymous tara said...

Anjali, Monk, you guys missed the point.

Seriously, think of Goddess of Fertility! Can you think of a better guy-repellant?! In COLLEGE?!

 
At 6:19 AM, Blogger Mirage said...

Really cool post! I love anyone who writes abt doggies!! I've already begun 2 like XP!

N hey i was just thinkin if we decided to choose our own names, as toddlershow wud we introduce ourselves? "I'm Gaga, Hi Googoo"??!

neway all d best for ur sems!

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger ladyparadox said...

all hail. Good one man!

 
At 10:51 PM, Blogger Rita said...

Yikes!!! "When was your last?" - hey man, 20 degrees is not so bad. What say? :D

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger Minor Minor said...

Was a great post until you got to that awful poem.....

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

Weird how u guys change in the presence of a female !!!

 
At 1:04 AM, Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

i totally agree w/ Minor Minor ... was a great post till u got to the poem

 
At 1:05 AM, Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

Wouldnt it be great if we could choose our eye colour, hair texture , no. of limbs etc etc etc ????

 
At 1:16 AM, Blogger Accidental Fame Junkie said...

The title of your post reminded me of a Shakespeare play. Blame it on being a literature major!

 
At 4:13 AM, Blogger Dreamcatcher said...

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet - doesnt apply here does it :P
and sigh i wish i had juniors to clean my room.. right now it has mounds of xeroxes and unidentifiable scraps of papers all around.
btw - does this not qualify as human labour getting juniors to do ur dirty(quite literally) work?

 
At 4:20 AM, Blogger the Monk said...

@rita:of course 20 degrees it isn't bad...in fact, i positively enjoy weather like that...
@tara:come on, i'm in college and I don't find that repellant...
@deepa: it would be great if could choose all that, but we can't, now, can we?however a name is something we can get to have a say in...
@accidental fame junkie:i know...that's where i got the idea from...twelfth night or what u will, rite? i was 'inspired' by that title....
@dreamcatcher: of course it does...i repay them by giving them permission to eat at the snacketaria or the canteen..
and people, don't take the name thing too seriously...i'm more or less kidding...but it is something i've mused on a couple of times...just thought it might make good(?) post material...

 
At 5:37 AM, Blogger Canary said...

am back after a sabbatical...
@crispingcanary.blogspot.com.. :)

 
At 9:01 AM, Blogger Nenlos said...

What a co-incidence! Even I was reminded of Twelfth Night or What you will. It's the Viola story, right?
I dont like Shakespeare. Infact i hate him. His ideas, that is. The worst being The Taming of the Shrew. Nothing personal.

 
At 10:11 AM, Anonymous pallavi said...

Winter and Trichy do not go together.. LOL/.. it must be pleasantly warm there :)

I wish I got to choose my own name too.. would have chosen something really wierd.. hahah

 
At 6:20 AM, Blogger karuna said...

Heheheh
Quite a plan you have there...
I'd name my dalmation popcorn :) with no ulterior motive, just randomly.

 
At 6:44 AM, Blogger Guruprasad Kini (Guru) said...

:) Had good fun reading this post, as usual. So did watch HPaGoF finally.
The room cleaning incident reminds me of the times when I was a fresher. I accidently wore a denim shirt(strictly against the dress code) and my seniors made me clean their room (2 BHK house, actually) using the shirt as a mop!!!:(
All the best for ur exams!

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger vibha said...

Take my tag.

 
At 5:57 AM, Blogger Pushuka said...

nice post dude... eminently entertaining.. and Emma Watson almost made the movie bearable... if only the movie had that Ron chap fall into a pit and break his leg...

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger Dewdrop said...

Parents naming their children is a given atleast as long as the children are capable of naming themselves. When Harish can become Harry and Uttam can become Tom, I guess changing names is not a biggie anymore. Weirder the better :)

Names reflect our personality more so online. We conjure an image of that fecless person just with their IDs so I guess if the sole intention is attracting the opp sex, one should go for the fascinating of nicks :P

Convo bet you M.A, C.F.A and the XP factor were superb :) and oh, I liked the rhyming lines, good one

 
At 12:05 PM, Blogger Phoenix Rises said...

You know, be thankful your parents did not name you Apple or Bumblebee or worst of all, Insulin!! That's exactly what a doctor has named his son in Bombay!!! Heard this on the radio!
And I could not resist asking, "when was your last??" :))

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

but , u could always change ur name ... u know

 
At 2:23 AM, Blogger San said...

ah living with Lizards :| - I don't think I could cope. Nice post :)

 
At 3:16 PM, Blogger Khushee said...

Quite an amusing post :)

I have yet to set out to clean my room. Actually, I have set out to clean it, but as soon as I have walked through the door of my room, I just tend to say that I'll do it another day. My room isn't actually such a disaster, but it's such an effort trying to make it all neat and tidy only to have it go back to 'normal' a few days later!

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger meera said...

god...but buddy you're funny!!!! and yes..norman lewis..i know him...sitting on my self a little dust on that red jacket of his...just never got through the whole damn book...actually never past the second section!! and by the way...i loved harry potter and the goblet of fire..and to be truthful..thought daniel radcliffe looked just brilliant..though kinda makes me a pedo..gross..
so varun x...walking xp back to the eagle's lair..good day..and good luck with those exams...
mine have been postponed due to the wonderful rains..

 
At 10:37 PM, Blogger anuj said...

great post man. Tht was so funny . Speciallt tht MA , CFA & XP stufff. hehehehe

very funny. I was jst wondering has it evr happened or its a fictional story :D ....

cleanin my room .. my god .. i need to dare for tht .. will do it after comin bck frm home. And hey best of luk for ur exms .. mine jst got over.

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger dee iyer said...

nice ..
tara should have written your blog..
or you should do ehat i do and make a blog completely out of her comments. that is one loong comment , tara.

 
At 2:29 AM, Anonymous tara said...

Ah Monk, what can i say? Collegians these days are truly intrepid?

Ms. Iyer, thou hast accused me of being garrulous on another's post. *deeply agonised look, walks away into a corner, tail between legs*

 
At 11:49 PM, Blogger the Monk said...

@canary:will check it out...
@nenlos:well, to each his/her own...but he's my favourite supplier of profundity...
@pallavi:lesser than pleasantly warm...gets pretty chilly in the night...
@guru:same old problem again, man..can't access ur blog from Trichy...sue Blogger...
@Pushkar: indeed...I can't stand Rupert Grint either..
@Phoenix rises: Mine are fairly regular, thank you...
@Deepa: i could, but I'm not that desperate...
@Meera: I haven't done the whole book, but I need to, if I'm to get anywhere with my GRE prep...
@Ms. Iyer: hmmm, maybe I will...
@Tara: Indeed, ragging has made us fearless...

 
At 2:41 AM, Blogger Camphor said...

the names thing does make good post material. :) and you cleaned rooms in first year? *hides* wow, we've been protected. The maximum i did was write a dozen or so records... "entertained" people. never had to clean, except the one time I hid out in a freind's room to avoid ahving to throw out breezer bottles.

 
At 6:44 AM, Blogger Weary Hag said...

You are quite entertaining with your posts! I get such a kick out of reading stuff like this.
I think finding a lizard in my room would have 'awakened' me a bit too.
And the dog bit? The whole XP conversation dialogue ... priceless.

Can't wait till your next entry!

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger meera said...

i truly think one needs to either start of prep a year in advance or don't prepare at all...that seems to work best with the GRE..and as i'm not taking it this year...guess when i do get around to taking it..its gonna be pretty painful..with all those changes they want to bring in..

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Heena ... said...

'ello...

Funny post. Really...

Dirty Room? Been there...
Room Cleaning? Not so much.
Friendly lizards? I think not.
Xtremely Prejudice? Xtremely Rocking.
Ragging? Lack of experience.
Harry Potter? The time will never come.

Me? crazy? Blame it on the Boogie.

[Experiencing Jet Lag though I haven't really flown]
Heena

 
At 12:08 AM, Blogger sinusoidally said...

I think you should totally buy a dog and name it XP. It'll be hot!

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger Canary said...

bak after a sabbatical ! :)
waz up wid yu..

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Accidental Fame Junkie said...

Hmmm...The stanza on HP was good. Try writing a whole review with many stanzas in the same style! Should be fun to read.

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Jithu said...

great post :-)

 
At 8:15 PM, Blogger the Monk said...

@camphor:we've done much more than just clean, u know...
@Hag:I do not respond to praise...
@meera: am not too worried abt the GRE....i first ned to scarpe up a decent GPA....
@canary:nothing new...
@accidental fame junkie:ok I can't keep typing that out everytime...suggest something...and maybe i will do the review...
@

 
At 10:51 PM, Blogger dee iyer said...

sorry I said those things , tara .. truce .. I didnt mean them in a bad way .. just I said ok ?

I like reptiles. I actuallu have soo many pictures of lizards on my phone .. really. no kidding.

 
At 12:21 AM, Blogger Ashmi said...

hey came to your site from perspective's blog.infact i find you posting comments in all the blogs that i read(few though).all i would like to say is that the post was good,funny i guess...especially the idea of having the liberty to choose one's name...my name means pride so i have no issues with it...who would anyways?...ha!ha!ha!bad joke,anyways...happy blogging.

 
At 1:41 AM, Blogger clash said...

First of all, all the best for ur xams!
rooms.. graffiti.. red light.. dust.. sneezing..bottles.. tobacco..ash...stubs.. beedis.. lizards..

4 days.. 4 times.. i just tried cleaning my room and i slept of all the time.. dont ask why.. its just that i started cleaning from different corners all the time and everytime i got "a surprise" that made me slip in to sleep... :)-

 
At 9:08 AM, Anonymous nenlos said...

my wardrobe cleaning is way overdue. wish i had a junior i could bully around at home

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger manuscrypts said...

hehe.. a good read.. but u know what, varun X could have very adverse connotations...

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger Ellie said...

Long time no post...but I guess its sem break time!Tho I hear NITT ppl are back in coll...eh? new one up soon...

Been reading your cool posts for quite sometime now..have finally got the opportunity to comment and blogroll you...:)

Update soon!

 
At 1:49 AM, Blogger Phoenix Rises said...

Hey!
Do you mind if I "blogroll" you?

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger the Monk said...

@manu: oh, i know..ppl will sonn be appending two more X's...but who cares?my name is what I make of it...
@ellie: yup, I got back this Monday...
@Phoenis Rises: Nope, I don't mind at all...thank you...

 
At 9:42 PM, Blogger Aditi said...

ha.
the last scenario smacks of male chauvinism( girl who wud like a guy who calls his dog "XP"??!!)...how very GEEKY...u need to upgrade DUDE!

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger the Monk said...

@aditi: i know...that's what I do, if u haven't noticed....comical absurdity...and yes, it is geeky...but I love it...

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger Neha said...

absolutely hilarious!

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger S said...

bloody brilliant....ROTFL!!

esp XP and itz various manifestations!! - LOL

and not to forget White Fang!! Ha!! :D

 
At 2:07 AM, Blogger Yashita said...

hey awesome post, and the name thing, I sooooooo agree wid it, infact i've actually changed my name!
and bout cleanin d room, wish i had juniors like ur's:(

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Incognito said...

I have a dog. And its called Titoo. Infact, the previous ones were also called the same. So Technically, or lets say, as per the heirarchy, this would be Titoo, the IV. And he became famous in this world. Ok.. these flats.. I had people coming over to ask me, why 'Titoo'?, as they apparently thought that it was after getting smitten by 'Arnold S-h-w-a-r-z-e-n-e-g-g-e-r(what a name[!])/Terminator- 2 (What's in a name[!])'. So instead of Titoo-it became T2 to the more or less 'engleees-speaking-janta'.So now, I am 'T-2 gal'. Duh! Do you think I chose it?

I really did not understand your "P.S." Come again :P

 
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