Saturday, February 25, 2006

Musical Meanderings and Other Arbit Stuff

>There was this time when I used to listen to Boyzone, Backstreet Boys, Westlife and, don’t judge me yet, Britney Spears. Boyzone was definitely my favourite. I was greatly disappointed (I was going to use heartbroken when I realized how gay this whole thing already sounds) when I learnt of their breaking up. I thought All That I Need was the greatest song ever recorded since As Long As You Love Me. I remember agreeing wholeheartedly with Mom that rock and metal were just so much noise. I used to pity the tortured souls who needed to listen to the likes of Metallica and Slipknot to get their kicks. The closest I came to listening to rock was Bryan Adams. College changed all of that. I was met with agonized cries of “Please tell me you have heard of GnR?”, or “What the f**k do you mean you like As Long As You Love Me? Haven’t you listened to Stairway to Heaven?”, when I proudly declared my musical preferences while giving my intro during ragging.

I was nonplussed. Soon, Bryan Adams became my favourite. While I was still met with the afore-mentioned agonized cries, the intensity had lessened somewhat. It resembled the tone one adopts when one finds out that a young one in the fold has strayed, but not so far that all is lost. There was still hope for me. The seniors decided to initiate me one step at a time. First, they told me to check out GnR. I did, and nothing happened. Typically, I liked Sweet Child of Mine, but not enough to displace the hallowed place Boyzone occupied. No, I told them frankly, for I was young and foolish then, I didn’t like November Rain. Nope, not Estranged either. His voice wasn’t melodious enough, I said. That was when I had my first near-death experience.

The second one followed soon after, when I, with painful experience having done nothing to temper my reckless zeal to speak the truth, told them that the only thing Du Hast did to me was give me a headache. I think I became something of a challenge for the seniors, a chance for them to prove that, yes, ragging was indeed beneficial. I suppose this is how the Missionaries felt when they encountered their first savages. Finally, one fateful day in the second semester, I came back to my room after a particularly frustrating session, grabbed the first tape I could get my hands on and plunked it into my walkman. Must’ve been my mood, I guess, but as the angry opening chords of Unforgiven broke over me, I found my head moving in a manner that could only be described as head-banging. I listened to the song six times in a row.

Now, of course, Metallica is my favourite band. Knopfler and Hetfield are my musical Gods. I pity the needy souls who need to listen to the likes of Westlife and Britney in order to appreciate music. It pains me to listen to the Backstreet Boys and music being mentioned in the same sentence. Blasphemy, I say.

Don't tell anybody, but I still retain something of a soft corner for Boyzone. On warm summer nights, when it is too hot to sleep in the room, I take my Greatest Hits tape, put it in a Metallica/Straits cover, borrow good quality headphones (very important) and fall asleep to Ronan Keating & Co on the hostel terrace. If anyone asks, I'm listening to Nothing Else Matters.



58 Comments:

At 5:22 AM, Blogger Anjali said...

Ah, nice to know you're back in action.

And that was courageous, I must say - to confess to those, um, offbeat musical inclinations :)

 
At 6:18 AM, Blogger Diabolical Angel! said...

There was a time when i liked Britney spears nd boyzone too...and everyone i know went thru that phase! So i guess no matter how gay or sissy they might be...most people do go thru phases of liking such music. Dunno why everyone tries to hide that.

 
At 6:58 AM, Blogger Phoenix Rises said...

Well, I still like Boyzone and Backstreet Boys, but not as much as when I was in school. I DO NOT like heavy rock, just sickens me! Isn't Metallica a heavy rock band?? I've heard very few songs of GnR, and think that they are ok.
I really don't even ahve any particualr taste, I listen to anything that sounds good to me.

BTW, weren't you the one who suggested Eragon? I read that book, and now I'm more than half way through Eldest. Just love both the books! Thanks for the recommendation! :)

 
At 7:42 AM, Anonymous navneet said...

another bryan adams fan eh?...i kinda stray towards the lyrics and hence love any genre that has songs with interesting lyrics...there was this phase when i used to mug up lyrics of all the songs i listened to :D

as for the phone talk, until recently i was tortured for every call that i received from girls...what now you say eh? (psst...i talk to them in college)

 
At 8:17 AM, Blogger onmyowntrip said...

loved that
especially when the mum becomes all inquisitive about the girl your talking to

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger Mirage said...

College sure does some irrepairable damage!!

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger Dreamcatcher said...

What a coincidence, I used to adore Boyzone too and I still like them- no qualms in saying that i did. thankfully i never liked backstreet boys. i listen to floyd and dylan and metallica and led zep - but well boyzone is like an old crush :) they did a lot of covers like tracy chapman and cat stevens - so you can say they were bringing back the classics..

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger A Hairy Snail said...

as i read somewhere, the only function that parents have with their teenage kids is to make them feel uneasy. :D

and erm concerning bryan adams did you get third time lucky? *snicker*

 
At 10:03 PM, Blogger Ganja Turtle said...

Hmmm...dont we al..I started off with Bon Jovi preparing for the music round of a quiz, moved on to floyd/purple and nstead of taking the hihhway to metal heaven, have meandered into folk - dylan/ stevens etc...lets see if i find my way back! BTW do u knw of any song that goes something like "STOP STOP, AM TALKING TO YOU...THESE ARE THE..."
Heard it on worldspace at a restaurant and ever since then trying to trace it but without success...

 
At 7:29 AM, Blogger aria said...

When I was a kid - I was just so crazy abt Michael Jackson .. lol .. I still have a soft spot for him .. when I see him on tv.. I remember all those jam sessions in school.
But in college - saying I like MJ was a crime n everyone laughed over it. Of course you do "grow up" and tastes change but what you liked as an innocent child is always special!

Nice one monk .. hope you are staying for good this time ..
Moms always make an interesting topic .. I like reading about other's moms n then of course .. comparing with my own - all moms are often similar ..

 
At 8:56 AM, Blogger Thetis said...

you have terrible taste in music but your writing is a de'light to read... as usual.

:)

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger The Individualist said...

True, isn't it? Everyone I know... okay I'll put it this way. Everyone has gone through the boy band phase. And everyone knows it though only some may admit it. And then, starts the dang dang bang bang phase. The metallicas, led zeps, Floyds, and the rest. And apparently, according to one of my friends, it ends in trance. Wonder if it's just speculation. I guess I only have to let years drag along and find out. And hey, that's a nice post that you have there. Honest. Admissions. And sounded lively.

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger Wriju said...

Such a familiar feeling. When I visit home, my mom does it still only I shut the door these days ;-)
I am so much older than you, little boy!
Have been through the same phases. Classic Rock is still so dear to me. Ofcourse I got into all that in my long haired college days when I hung around with myriad headbangers.

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger ladyparadox said...

ah monk, long time! was just thinking of how older brothers influence you so much! i used to listen to priest, sabbath, metallica and co - even slayer and sepultura (!?!) when i was 10. other girls in my school thought i was a freak (sigh), so i used to hang out in the boys' school. good days, those! now i see the girls from my school at these rock shows... grrrrr...

 
At 11:44 PM, Blogger Neha said...

Oh! dont u worry, everybody grows from the likes of boyzones, and backstree tboys, and britney spears, and aqua, et all....the same story can be related with me and most of the rock lovers out here...and yes the girls/boys calling story too. :-)

 
At 12:35 AM, Anonymous Handa said...

look mate... all of us were kids once.. some still are. wht matters is wht u become whn u grow up.. are u an insurance clerk or a dystopian novelist... are u a bryan adams fan or u realise the greatness of Kashmir. its all bout the choices u make.

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger Siri said...

OMG! what do i say? Im in b/w ur two "distinct" phases of *muzical life*...
I cant totally appreciate the bubblegum pop genre...nor does rock appeal 2 me....told yah abt this once i think....World music suits me best!

as for moms....heheheh she usually has a prob with whoever i talk to!!! ;)...
bt shes a sweetheart...like all moms are!

and yea...is this the same "lovelife " that ws supposed to "take off" in some time?
hehehehehhe

 
At 4:21 AM, Blogger Harashita R. R. Bajaj said...

i suppose every body goes through the same stages for the western music.....

Well i loved november rain when i heard it first.. ..prompted me to listen to more GnR...

by the way where in Tvn did u stay...which school??

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Cynthia E. Bagley said...

Geez. At least Metallica is more musical than Britney. Britney is just eye-candy for pre-adolescent boys. (Sorry if I insulted you)...

If you want some good Western music, how about trying some Jazz, Blues, or even opera... Andrea Bocelli for one. Or early rock and roll. I hate to sound like my parents, but the music of today.... Gosh dang... they are more visual than aural... my biggest disappointment is when I hear them live. Many of these bands cannot sing on key. Screech.

 
At 8:10 AM, Blogger Neha said...

Really, didn't everyone love some boy or girl band at some stage!! :)
outgrown them now.. but i still like ronan keating's when you say nothing..

you remind me of those days when it was so tough to takl for long on the phone.. the mobile has changed everything so much hasn't it.. there wud b times when if i knew some guy was going to call i would just jump and grab the phone before anyone else could so tht noone wud noe..lol..silly days :) though i'v never had problems with ppl from the opposite sex calling up.. but yeah parents think or atlst used to think tht phones are not meant for long conversations.. and of course they wud never understand why it's so uncomfy to talk in front of them..

nice post!

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger Srihari said...

You said it! I often think about how our inclinations change as we grow up, in fact I recently wrote a short story on a similar theme. With regards to music, I can't help feeling it usually starts off due to a strong influence of peer-pressure (blending-in,feeling accepted, call it what you will..).....this is getting too long, may be I'l blog about this sometime..Thought-provoking post.

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger Pushuka said...

Dude, it brought tears to my eyes when you said you didn't like "November Rain". But baccha, I forgive you, for we all make mistakes. Your sins are indeed grave, but I'm sure you've paid dearly for them. I find it very disconcerting, though, that there's no mention of U2 in your narrative....

 
At 10:08 PM, Blogger cherubic_chipmunk said...

Ur choice aint that offbeat aftrall-any nitt hostelite wil b forced 2 hear such music-headbanging follows inevitably n ultimately u bcome a metallica lover-n jus b/w us,i stl lik BSB...
Ah gals' calls-1 touchy topic,aint it?well i nvr had a gr8 prob coz de real feminine ones hardly calld mah home...n as for de ones who called-their manner of talkin(i don' mean voice) was so 'guy'ish that none objected...
aint 1 of ur usual ones wid a prodigious vocab-stl likd it...

 
At 6:07 AM, Blogger Manjusha said...

So...you did get a taste of the Dark Side after all. :)

 
At 7:58 AM, Blogger Heena ... said...

Alright.

I wouldn't want to repeat what everybody said about the candy floss music loving phase, we are not really accustommed to reality till then so we like the sugar-coated music.

I don't think I was monitored by my Mom while speaking on the phone... and even if my dad didn't keep a watch per say... I still hear no end about how talking on the phone anywhere above ten minutes was purely outrageous.

*shrug* Perils of the teenage life I suppose...

[Confessing my dislike for Korn, and other trash metal... ]
- Heena

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger Ashmi said...

hey,as usual i loved the post....oh! yes, i too loved boyzone,westlife and all those stuff...but recently after coming to bangalore and under the influence i've taken to listening to mettalica and linkin park coz W hears them and enjoys them and seeing him doing that"head banging " stuff i too started taking an interst in the same and now somehow i seem to enjoy them too though not all nos....and oh! the last part of the post about your mom was so hilarious
:-).....I remeber my mom doing the same now with my poor lil bro, oh! how pissed he gets ;-)....and i too used to add fire to it all, now i miss all that fun!...anyways keep posting such cute funy posts.

 
At 10:03 PM, Blogger Incognito said...

I confess the same. I was defending BSB to Bryan Adams and Oasis with my sis. My transition was unlike yours. I went into more soft rock. Defleppard, Aerosmith,Matchbox 20 and then dissolving to Verve, Alanis Morisette and ofcourse Bryan Adams, was on my lips almost at all times.

Good to reminisice..

 
At 12:39 AM, Blogger Jasmine said...

Like every one of the twenty-nine people before me, I went through the metamorphosis too, though not, thankfully, through as horrible a transition as BSB to Metallica. And admit it - you only started listening to Metallica because it was the done thing.

I don't get it - why do guys have this thing with Metallica? Somebody answer this for me. It's like you're not a proper guy if you don't listen to Metallica and have one of those black METALLICA! t-shirts.

 
At 6:49 AM, Blogger udit said...

ahh music...
everyone seems to have liked boyzone or backstreet boys sumtime or the other, but then the damned looks, the talk of their 'gayishness' bla bla gets to everyone. i listen to mostly rock now, hard or alternative- nickelback, creed, metallica etc etc. though in school isn't linkin park is your entry into the land of 'rock' music
moms...
you only get calls from girls
do you even have any guy friends
how long will you keep talking
p.s. this is of course, blown out of proportion.

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger the Monk said...

@camphor:ah, but you are indeed an evil one...I figured you'd put me in this position...right, then, the situation is complicated...when it resolves itself, I promise, you shall be the first to know...
@Phoenix Rises: yup, Metallica is hard rock...yeah, I think I did suggest Eragon...no problemo, as Arnie would say...for a 19 yr old, he's done a briliant job...
@navneet: things are cool, now,man...this was way back in school...
@the Snickering Duck:Hey, atleast I don't use Tee Hee Hee....one-all now, Quincy-me-Duck...
@Ganja Turtle: Sorry, no idea...
@Handa: Jeez, me kiddin most of the time, man...
@Siri: My lips are sealed...
@Pushuka: That was a long time ago...GnR's one of my favourites now...and yeah, I really like U2 too, but Knopfler rules, you know...atleast for me...
@Jasmine: Metallica's pretty good stuff, you know...not just arbit metal...dunno abt ppl in general..But I've met very few ppl who listen to rock, and dislike Metallica...
@Harashita: I stayed in Pattom...studied in Arya Central Jail/School....why do you ask?

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger Yashita said...

guess wat, i read "No, I told them frankly, for I was young and foolish then, I didn’t like November Rain."...and directly jumped here to comment...but then thot otherwise...read the whole post and came back here again:)....i dunno how anyone, anyone can not like NOVEMBER RAIN!!!...i too was besotted with the boys from their varios bands...westlife, boyzone, backstreet and aqua and their likes...during my teens...but i remember d first time i heard november rain and i fell in love with that song, it was in FE...yup, we all grow from the boy band stage to rock...but i still listen to some of those songs:)...nice to have u back:) and now dont go in hibernation...keep posting.

 
At 4:05 AM, Blogger Weary Hag said...

Monk, you CRACK me up. I enjoy your writing so very much, I swear. You have this knack for creating wonderful imagery when you really get into your posts. I love it.

The image of your mother hovering while you're talking to a girl on the phone just had me in stitches! Also, the headbanging thing ... dying laughing over here.

As an avid music lover (and NO, I will NOT say which genre), I could really appreciate your ingenious idea to put another CD into a more "generally accepted" case. Wonderful!!! I wish I had thought of doing that years ago - would have saved me much angst.

Wonderful post. Truly.

 
At 6:29 PM, Blogger bronzmash said...

Oh f€ck, i mean damn,.. no no, i'll stick with the former.... That's the type of shit that happened to me too (claim to fame)!! I mean, mom pestering while i'm on the phone with girls, and the music revelation, tho, that happened to me before my time, and i'm happy i kept my tastes...! ;)
I'm, as it seems, not very quick on posting a comment, so i'll apologise, and i'll ask, if i may have the pleasure of having you on my blogroll!?
And, errr... the post actually did start out sounding gay!! Just the required effect!
Keep writing amazing...

 
At 2:58 AM, Blogger nomadicspirit said...

If u didn't like 'November Rain' (winces), then i can imagine wat "the dreaded rammstein session" must have bin like...Du Hast n all...lol..ROTFL

Gues every1 goes thru such a phase bt I must say(at the risk of sounding highly unoriginal)u r ONE courageous soul to tomtom it around.

Gr8 post, hv blogrolled u(without askin'..sorie).

 
At 3:08 AM, Blogger nomadicspirit said...

Ohh and Knopfler rules 4 me too..

Stirring vocals n lovely guitar...and its nice to see another Straits devotee :-D

 
At 11:31 PM, Blogger dee iyer said...

ey. men also liked boyzone or what ? then why you make fun of us women and liking these boy bands?

 
At 4:12 AM, Blogger clash said...

"final years"!! outright attack on us.. :)-

 
At 5:24 AM, Blogger Casablanca said...

I'm wondering what your seniors have to say on reading this post :)

And thank god for cordless phones... early on in life! Though my mom was very much a believer of privacy, my sister wasnt!

 
At 12:48 PM, Anonymous Gal disappointed with the monk said...

"I pity the needy souls who need to listen to the likes of Westlife and Britney in order to appreciate music. It pains me to listen to the Backstreet Boys and music being mentioned in the same sentence. Blasphemy, I say."--->What shit !!
Dont you think you're being kinda judgemental for an entire diffrerent genre of music.Seems like you rather want it publicised that SINCE YOU ARE INTO HEAVY ROCK THAT MAKES YOU A M-A-N.
From your previous posts I assumed you were a rather sensible guy.But now I feel it surely holds truth when you say you have this bloody habit of blowing things outta proportion.
Probably the fact is that you want to showcase yourself as this ultra cool dude who has these airs about his writing and likes to believe that his words are like electric signals.
Basically,I found the aforementioned comment utterly gross and unhealthy.And disappointed ofcourse.

 
At 9:01 PM, Blogger clash said...

Im happy, if all those sessions helped you to tune up your ear for something what i refer to as good music! No heart feelings!! some things happen for the good and some for bad..

Keep rocking!

 
At 10:44 PM, Blogger vibha said...

boyzone...not much interested. college life is really memorable. kool post yaar

 
At 8:27 AM, Blogger the Monk said...

@Weary Hag: I won't deny any of those allegations. ;) Seriously, though, thank you.
@Bronzmash: I'd be honoured. No, really. I would be.
@Nomadic Spirit: Oh, the dreaded Rammstein sessions were quite something else. Not just the music was involved, you know.
@Ms.Iyer: Listen ya, me cannot speak for all men. I make fun of Boyzone-loving girls, though. For the sake of having fun. ;)
@ the Disappointed Gal and People in General: What, ya? Damn, Iyer Dear, me should stop talking like that. Anyway, I suppose it had to happen someday, that someone should take offense. Anyway, you have totally misunderstood the tone of my writing. You are entitled to your opinions, but let me try to make things a little clearer. See, the tone of the 'comment' you mentioned was essentially sarcastic. I was, in effect, poking fun at my (relatively) newly discovered dislike for pop. And at my sudden transition to rock. T'was fun, though, reading your comment. Ultra cool dude...cracked me up...keep visiting, and keep commenting, though I'd appreciate it if you'd drop the anonymity...

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger Dewdrop said...

It usually takes me more than a few listenings to appreciate a certain kind of music. Very few bands appeal me at the very first audition. And some songs I enjoy better in video than audio like November Rain. Your transition and admiration for heavy metal is quite a boy thing. We girls usually prefer mellow rocks and pop. John Lennon, Bryan adams, U2, Coldplay, Eminem anyone?

lol @ your mom. My mom was worse. If my time on phone increased her check, she would simply come over and disconnect the line and I would be left brawling :)

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger Akanksha said...

we also had our one and only phone in the dining room.. so first i had to shoo away my brother who would promptly come back 5 mins later and start playing music loudly.. brothers are such pests

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger shub said...

haha absolutely! :) everyone has been thro that i love boyzone---erm ahh they're ok--aaaarrrghhh I hate boyzone phase! :o)
nice post!

 
At 5:57 AM, Blogger Cinderella said...

"Don't tell anybody, but I still retain something of a soft corner for Boyzone. On warm summer nights, when it is too hot to sleep in the room, I take my Greatest Hits tape, put it in a Metallica/Straits cover, borrow good quality headphones (very important) and fall asleep to Ronan Keating & Co on the hostel terrace. If anyone asks, I'm listening to Nothing Else Matters." ---->What a chicken you are,jeez !!
I was really really mistaken when I thought you were a guy who had some brains.
Seems like you are quite good at letting others hold on to your reigns and the cherry on the top is that they can actually make you act like you are having the time of your life.
LOLZ..HA HA HA
You are so damn afraid of revealing your original likes that you hafta hide youself from the whole world to pursue an interest??And you even find that funny to narrate it on a blog under a pseudoname.
Pathetic.
You seem to be more blasphemous than your comments.
And here you are,I drop my anonymity coz I aint a chicken like you.

Sample this :
I prefer coffee to tea,you must be drinking tea(coz you're a chicken).I pity you,all your seniors who must also be drinking tea like you.I pity this whole nation coz it thrives on tea,I pity the Lipton company,the TATA company,I pity the very existence of tea leaves.Tea is blasphemous when spoken with hot drinks in the same sentence.
(Just trying your tongue.)

P.S:In art there arent likes or dislikes,there are preferences,preffering something over the other doesnt make the other BLASPHEMOUS.

 
At 8:29 AM, Blogger cherubic_chipmunk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger cherubic_chipmunk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger cherubic_chipmunk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude u write well...
i too studied in Arya central..belonged to the first batch of XII and then REC trichy....
BTW try listening to bands like rush, dream theater, liquid tension experiment, Iron maiden.

Vinodh

 
At 9:34 PM, Blogger Camphor said...

COMMENT WAR!
*sets up pop corn stand and weird looking pink candy like stuff*
Extra, extra, at only a few clicks a day!!
(I'm tempted to do the commentary bit, but that would be overdoing it. As it is, I shall hang on to the edge of my seat, seeing what the next comment will be like.)

Monk - Really, someday my total irreverence will get me into trouble.
No sooner spoken, than true.

 
At 5:19 AM, Blogger roshan said...

Hello
Nice blog youve got here
Boyzone,Britney!!!!!!!!!!(Killing myself with a Kalashnikov or Sturmgehtwehr or whatever)
Nice to know you're back on track
Some suggestions if your'e into heavy rock/metal etc.. now
Opeth,Our Lady Peace,Papa Roach,LAcuna Coil,Mudvayne,Grunge-----NIRVANA,PEARL JAM Album is Ten--Best ever),Aerosmith,Anthrax,Blink 182, Coheed and cambria,Sum 41,Dave Matthews Band ,Good Charlotte,Hoobastank ,Gorillaz,Ill nino, IRON MAIDEN,Lamb Of God, Sepultura,Sevendust,SOAD...couldn't help myself Sorry for the long list.....
Metallica Forever
Peace
Roshan

 
At 5:31 AM, Blogger roshan said...

Read the comments tooo
Sort of agree with the Nomadic spirit And cinderella too
Ciao
Roshan

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Ketaki said...

been there.. done that! i used to trip on pop once too, ages back.
but then i turned to rock and realised wat music is really abt
btw didnt knw guys listend to boyzone too!

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger snickersnee said...

man, you get a looooot of readers.
wasn't 'as long as you love me' by the backstreet boys?

College, as I can find surely does more than just give you higher studies. It brings you out of the suicide-worthy rut you were in!
Britney Spears???
Boyzone - I understand, but Britney Spears?
Man, have you heard her slave number?
Go boink yourself on the head if you have and still hold the same opinion.

Happy listening!
You like Floyd and Led Zepp i'm assuming?

 
At 5:42 PM, Blogger Shiv said...

hey thanks for dropping by to my blog.

Why everybody will start the college 'Bryan adams'?I was puxxled to know that u too got an intro into 'other' world of music through Bryan baba.

Seconf part of ur blog about phone privacy.It was hillarious, hope u didnt get beatings from ur mom :))

Kool posts..hey I see u r into engineering?wat stream?

Keep blogging..Nothing else matters!
Shiv

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger Weary Hag said...

Holy popularity, Monk! You get the most comments of anyone I've ever read!!! :)h

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger lonewolf said...

brother, i didn't read your profile to see how old you are but "total irreverence" is pushing the envelope of reality a wee bit. hey but what the heck, we all live in our own ivory tower. larry flint was totally irreverent, and i would think that total irreverence meant not explaining yourself which you did in the last paragraph. man i just realised that blogging is pure exhibitionism

 

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