Sunday, August 06, 2006

Confessional

Ajeeb dastaan hai yeh…
Kahaan shuru kahaan khatham…

Profound lines. Makes one wonder why such songs don't win Grammys. Not that it matters, of course.

The last three months or so have been, well, different for me. I'm sure you guys must have noticed, but my frequency of posting has become, almost commensurately, quite irregular. I really don’t feel like writing funny stuff (alright, have it your way, attempts at humor) anymore. I don’t think I’ve lost what passes for my sense of humor, but I now need to make an effort to come up with the funnies. The one superpower that I presume to possess, that of Chaat, thankfully seems to be intact, as evidenced only yesterday when I was forced to stop under threat of severe physical damage. All said and done, though, I might still surprise myself and come up with something that’ll hopefully have you rolling. Hell, I might even get started again; all I may need is an Aunt May to tell me that there’s a hero in all of us. Ideally, though, I think I’d prefer sweetly phrased requests from particularly pretty girls.

I haven’t really lost the desire to write, though. To a certain extent, I suppose I really was busy and didn’t have time and all that stuff, but there’s only so much that I can kid myself. Every time I picked up a particularly good book, I’d think, “Shit, I want to write like that” and then immediately wonder if I’m good enough. I suppose I’ll never find out unless I actually put my head down and write. Maybe I’m just afraid of finding out.

I don’t know what I’ll write either. I’m not sure how good I’ll be at fiction. I really don’t think I have the imagination to come up with a yarn that’s good enough. Nor do I think I have the staying power to see it through. I’ll probably just stop caring about what happens to the characters simply because it’s too much work. I don’t know, maybe short stories someday. Non fiction’s an option. I’m not the kind who has an opinion on every issue under the sun, but there are a few things that I’m passionate about, like books and writing, for instance. Most of all, I like giving fundae about such stuff, so I’ll probably write a good deal about books/literature/writing/movies/whatever.

You know, I really do care about this stuff. I mean, it has the ability to get me really excited; emotional, even. I can go on for hours about, say, Three Men in a Boat, or Lost in Translation and why I think they’re such brilliant books/movies. I can read Three Men any number of times and still be moved beyond tears when Jerome talks about the moonlight touching the river’s surface. He gets carried away by the sheer beauty of the night, and so am I, with him. I can feel every bit of Bill Murray’s bittersweet anguish when he waves goodbye to Scarlett Johansson; he’s glad he experienced this, but he’s devastated that he has to leave. At least, that’s what it seems like to me.

So, Gentle Reader, bear with me while I find my niche or whatever it is that I shall search for. I shall experiment a good deal, and I do not know how good the results shall be. However, stay with me, for I shall need your encouragement and criticism, in equal measure. In return, I promise you this: I shall try my best, aur dil se likhne ki koshish karoonga.

Yeh manzilen hain kaun sii…
Na woh samajh sake na hum…
Ajeeb dastaan hain yeh...

19 Comments:

At 8:58 PM, Blogger Camphor said...

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(Frost, The Road Not Taken)

I'm sure you can write, that if you try, you will write, that you are good enough. It is too easy to leave it unsaid, to leave it unwritten... but you could take the road not usually taken.

At least you have our support. :)

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger Neha said...

and here we recieve a conciderably lengthy post about u not wanting/not getting the time to write, what to write, on whom to write...
take time i must say..
u write beautifully.
and dont worry we are here...giving u all the suppost, encouragement, wishes, critisism u need!
just hang on there!

 
At 2:35 AM, Blogger Siri said...

oye! Now thats a side to Varun we havent seen (at all?)
Duudeee! depression is it?
welkamm :)

Jokes apart, if u r experimenting, great then! we're reading! :)
tc

 
At 4:21 AM, Blogger S said...

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now theres a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom, blown on the
Steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger, you legend,
You martyr, and shine!


Shine on! :) and we're all here to read!! :) :)

 
At 4:42 AM, Blogger Incognito said...

You know what,
I love ur writing for the very fact that you just do it casually.
I am not looking for twists, neither am I waiting for climax.
Its just the way life goes, with a flow sans interruptions. U lead , i dont know abt others, but u lead me through ur thoughts and leave me exacty where u want me to be left. I'd like to know if u've read 'A stone for Danny Fisher ' by Harold Robbins... somehow this post of urs really reminds me of that book. dont know why.
I think, u should just write. Without analysing whether u could bring an end, or make it short/long/interesting/comical..
just go with the flow. I'm sure Jerome also read somebody elses and tot, 'Shit I wish i could write like that!'
:)

Infact, the first one that has commented here, I dont know why she stopped posting either.. One hellava writer.. leaving us all thirsty..

One of my super fav song. I'll give u another one..
Ehsaan tera hoga mujpar
Dil kehta hai jo kehne dho..

 
At 5:05 AM, Anonymous navneet said...

need not worry dude, i think i'll pretty much read whatever you got to write :)

 
At 6:23 AM, Blogger Ketaki said...

:) with you all the way!
and as for lost in translation, i loved that scene too... loved the movie!!

may the farce be with you! ;)

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Parth said...

Three men in a boat .. you flooded my mind with memories. Its one of those books that stay with you if you read it at the right age. Go on writing dude. Expect to see more from you.

 
At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Hiren said...

I have always felt that you have a way with words. You seem like a natural writer all right. Writing beyond your nische can be dicey. I am also trying to write my other blog Make your passion your profession in story form.

The publisheres have shown some interest but I am not finding it easy.

What the heck? Just write what you enjoy.

 
At 11:27 AM, Anonymous nithya said...

Dance like nobody is watching...write like only you are reading.... :)

here after a loong time...keep blogging!! :)

 
At 7:25 PM, Blogger Srihari said...

Your blog is one of the better ones around. Stay confident, be patient and persist, for sometimes, you first have to lose yourself to find who you are.

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger bronzmash said...

Irregular - yes.. but the quality remains crisp as ever..!

Keep jotting..

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger Ashmi said...

can't talk much about the irregular bit coz i myslef have been away from my blogging world for 4 long months and now back, all geared to strike back at life agian:D.....so all i cud say is that, the fact that you still write well don't worry and just hang in till you feel fine agin to give your best...though i stil find your post as interesting and well written as ever:)

 
At 8:34 AM, Blogger nomadicspirit said...

Long time since I last blogsurfed…GRE, eh? Me too…sometime this December.

If the truth be told…I expected you would get 800 in quant.....I’ve seen lesser, du-MBer ppl get 800 and you...maths is your passion! 1550 is a wow score....and as for “I didn’t get what I wanted”....well, what exactly did you want then? :)

As 4 writing....wud it help if I sed that we'd terribly, terribly miss your writing? ;P

I doubt the "particularly pretty girls" bit, but I hope this qualifies as a sweetly phrased request ;-)

 
At 4:54 AM, Blogger Neha said...

waiting...:-)

if only u wud start writing..im sure uw ud b able to beat a lot of them at it :-)

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Phoenix Rises said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:42 AM, Blogger Phoenix Rises said...

Hmmm... You know I feel this way sometimes. I have written a few short stories, but am still not satisfied about the way they have come out. And I'm also worried about the staying power to see a novel through.

But the thing is, I like the way you write. Your writings have a very easy flow to them, and the sarcastic, dry wit that is conveyed is excellent! :D

 
At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Deedee said...

Your writing precisely echoes the saying-

'Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead
Just walk beside me and be my companion'

The flow of your language does not push the reader forward roughly, but imperceptibly pulls him into the current. And this is what pulls me in too! So keep writing

You'll never be short of admiring readers :)

 
At 2:28 AM, Blogger Harashita R. R. Bajaj said...

Same here...I dont know if its really related to leaving the coll....

 

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